This is the most terse and abbreviated TV review I think I've ever done, but I felt I had to... so here it goes:
Axe Giant (AKA, Axe Giant: The Wrath of Paul Bunyan) aired on Syfy tonight. It stars Joe Estevez, Dan Haggerty, Thomas Downey, Kristina Kopf and other folks needing work in the industry.
Yes, that Dan Haggerty, of The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams!
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It opened to a scene in the 1800's where a group of lumberjacks get killed by an axe-wielding man thing. And then we change to modern day.
The acting and moments from the opening was fairly flat and disinteresting. The few effects in the movie in the opening were serious flashbacks to a few years ago when the injected effects looked blatant and horrible. I haven't seen stuff this bad in quite some time.
We swapped out and watched another show for a while, and when we came back to the last thirty minutes of Axe Giant, it seemed... worse!
The script and acting were horrible. A boy gets shot at point-blank range in the gut by a shotgun, looks up at the young babe in a tank top that's holding him and asks, "Is it bad?" Then he saves himself and croaks.
The acting seemed like they were standing around in a closet talking to each other. The effects, again, were, well, I'm guessing some intern was getting good training time on the software. Not that good for us. Just good for him.
So the monster could be put down by tranq darts, could be shot, and used his giant axe to deflect bullets like Wonder Woman would do with her bracelets in that old TV series.
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Gads, I'm thinking this gets a pass. If you see this coming up on your TV schedule, then get the beer, call some friends and have some serious fun with it. It's the only way to save this TV movie from Kinetic Filmworks.
Oh, and tank tops are the saving grace of this movie!
-
Oh thank god... Snow Beast is up next! This has a 3.3 on IMDb, and the opening scenes are already 10 times better than that axe movie!
-Bruce
Axe Giant (AKA, Axe Giant: The Wrath of Paul Bunyan) aired on Syfy tonight. It stars Joe Estevez, Dan Haggerty, Thomas Downey, Kristina Kopf and other folks needing work in the industry.
Yes, that Dan Haggerty, of The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams!
-
It opened to a scene in the 1800's where a group of lumberjacks get killed by an axe-wielding man thing. And then we change to modern day.
The acting and moments from the opening was fairly flat and disinteresting. The few effects in the movie in the opening were serious flashbacks to a few years ago when the injected effects looked blatant and horrible. I haven't seen stuff this bad in quite some time.
We swapped out and watched another show for a while, and when we came back to the last thirty minutes of Axe Giant, it seemed... worse!
The script and acting were horrible. A boy gets shot at point-blank range in the gut by a shotgun, looks up at the young babe in a tank top that's holding him and asks, "Is it bad?" Then he saves himself and croaks.
The acting seemed like they were standing around in a closet talking to each other. The effects, again, were, well, I'm guessing some intern was getting good training time on the software. Not that good for us. Just good for him.
So the monster could be put down by tranq darts, could be shot, and used his giant axe to deflect bullets like Wonder Woman would do with her bracelets in that old TV series.
-
Gads, I'm thinking this gets a pass. If you see this coming up on your TV schedule, then get the beer, call some friends and have some serious fun with it. It's the only way to save this TV movie from Kinetic Filmworks.
Oh, and tank tops are the saving grace of this movie!
-
Oh thank god... Snow Beast is up next! This has a 3.3 on IMDb, and the opening scenes are already 10 times better than that axe movie!
-Bruce
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